Monthly Archives: October 2011

Eleventh Sense

Warning: Containing spoilers, this review is as bad as the film.

The director had done a ctrl c ctrl v of an English film earlier which he ctrl ved in Hindi. He now thinks he must make something original for Tamil. So he takes his pen out, brings Vijay TV’s Nijam Nadandadu Enna Voice over and introduces to us about the long lost glory of Tamil culture and some Bodhi Dharman. And the Chinese sing a Tamil song in Babablacksheep tune. Check.

Present day and we have Baby Grand (Grand is the nickname of Kamal Hassan who speaks every language including American English with a grand American accent. Also, he is a grand actor) asking the hero for a monkey to do genetic research with a beautiful oh-so-louly-tambrahm accent. Must tell the director that monkey research is banned in India (monkey being Aanjaneyar, etc, etc). But I will not because I am a proud Tamil and also, a geneticist. Check.

Now this Baby Grand and the hero go on elephants on Adyar Bridge, sing Chinese Tamil songs with American accents in Europe with African extras composed by Harris Jayaraj. Globalization of Tamil. Check. Now she wants to use the hero to do genetic experiments. Ethical clearance anyone? No questions because this is a film on Tamil culture. She goes to a room to talk about her project to world famous Indian scientists who are 50+, talk about their lives’ works in one sentence, are from Ulundurpettai and speak English and mock Tamil culture. Baby grand from Paramakudi launches into a tirade on why the Tamil is the glorious, speaking Tamil in an American accent. Another grand in the making. Check.

She wants to use the hero to bring back whoever is his ancestor, with the DNA, in the hero. Must ask prof if this really works. If so, must take DNA from Murugadoss and see if it matches with the DNA of any filmmaker. If so, must bring back filmmaking talent. Bleddy around ears heavy jasmine smell raa. But I will not question because jasmine is also part of Tamil culture. Check.

This Dong Lee is a Chinki villain speaking English with an Indian accent in China. More globalization of the cinematazation of the constitution of the constipation. He causes crisis to Indian economy with baby grand’s prof. So Surudhi goes to prof’s house, hacks into prof’s gmail account and unearths mollamaarithanam of 300 crores of transaction of single wire transfer into Swiss account. Using monkeys in India, genetic testing without ethical clearance, hacking other’s accounts. Crime rate increasingly grandly. But no questions because she is pro-Tamil culture. Check. The Dong uses dog to cause disease. Seriyana bong pa. And baby grand asks him if he has yellow rice in the chest to meet this Bodhi Karman face to face and how dare he cause harm to the great India of the Aryabhatta, Pallavas, TR, Sam Anderson, Perarasu and Digvijay Singh. Yabba.

So finally she takes our hero, puts him in a box with Discovery channel deep sea diving material for 12 days in an ultra secretive place where they have no contact with the outer world in IIT Madras. So the take home message is that the most vetty place in Chennai with no scent of human activity is IIT. Mr. Director, I want to know the funding for baby grand’s research.  And in the midst of all this mumbo-jumbo being passed as logic and science, the hero becomes Bodhi Dharman. Enna karumam da saami!

The film’s concept is good, it tries something different, first 20 minutes are well filmed and the reference to Gounder was the only LOL worthy moment in the film. Thasall that’s there to this film. Murugadoss, making a film on Tamil culture, science and DNA and all is ok. But next time, if it is about science, include something called research and if it is a film, screenplay. Thanks.

PS: Does the title or this rant make sense? No, neither does the film.

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The Hero Who Was Pinched

“He stood on a corner of the battlefield, sun setting on the shore;

Victory was eluding him, making him slightly sore.

His nemesis’s brother spake saying it was a Goddess that kept them at bay;

Having him mystified, how could Good help Evil? It made him pray.

There is one way, spoke his friend of clarity, and it is to meditate;

He took upon himself to invoke the Goddess with lotuses a hundred and eight.

Being helped in the endeavor, by a friend so primal;

He started beseeching the Goddess who made him wait.

Lotuses he offered, the last of which was pinched.

The lotus is like your eyes; his mother declared once;

He took an arrow to offer an eye for a flower not as beautiful.

The Goddess deemed Her eyes had seen enough;

For She came down to bless him, her heart bountiful.

What was now left was to grow, touching the sky.”

Inspired from a short Hindi poem.

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